Women's Views on News |
| Posted: 25 Oct 2016 01:08 PM PDT
When my three children and I arrived at a women's refuge, scared, skint and emotionally battered, I had no idea what to expect. A refuge is one of those places that everyone knows about, but nobody knows about, if that makes sense? It's like the afterlife for abused families – we all hear stories about it, but rarely hear about anyone who has been there. But that Christmas I couldn't take any more. Things were getting more and more volatile – not only were we walking on eggshells – hell, not even eggshells, what we were walking on were fragile eggs that could crack at any moment – but we were also holding our breath so often and for so long that we were running out of oxygen. In short, we were dying. Christmas day had been spent with my three children and I, huddled around the kitchen table staring at the tiny screen of the portable TV, and taking it in turns to hold the broken indoor aerial in a certain position. He, on the other hand, was lying on the huge seven seater settee watching the 47 inch brand new TV. We weren't allowed to go in there. We were consigned to the kitchen like fecking Cinderellas, wishing we were at the ball. My children were 3, 10 and 12 at the time. As Christmas turned into another new year, things got worse. I could sense the rage bubbling under the surface, and I knew he was ready to explode, and I also knew that, in order to shield the children from it, I would be in the firing line. He had almost killed me once, this time I might not be so lucky. So I started to gather together essential paperwork, enlisting the help of a couple of trusted friends who looked after a few things which had sentimental value, and I rang women's aid. They didn't have a place for us straightaway as just after Christmas is their busiest time. Tis the season to be jolly…ha! But after a few days, find us a place they did, and as soon as he left for work we ran. I was told to drive to a certain town, and then to call them, where they would give us directions. It was all very clandestine, and added to the surrealism of the whole thing, but eventually we arrived. We were shown to our room, and left to settle in. And you know what? We freaking loved it! We had a tiny flat, all to ourselves, with a miniscule kitchen and bathroom, and a bigger room with a pull out double sofa one end, bunk beds the other end, and a dining room in the middle, with a TV and DVD player. Those nights in the refuge were the happiest we had known in years. That first night we watched dancing on ice, and the children played to their heart's content, in their socks sliding around the wooden floor as if they were skating. They laughed, and they tumbled, and they…were children. The refuge sorts out benefits payments, so we were able to go shopping, and we bought what WE wanted, and ate when WE wanted. We had floor picnics, and we ate in bed, and we were free. Nobody shouted at us for making too much noise when we ate, or for spilling a drink, or for dropping a knife on the table. The four of us cuddled up on the double bed at night and watched films, eating ice cream. It was bliss. It was nothing like I had expected. I thought it would have been full of silent, angry, broken women. I was so wrong. While we were there I met the strongest, most inspirational women I have ever met. Women who had been beaten to within an inch of their lives. Women who had lost everything. And yet, in the communal lounge, after the children were in bed, they gathered together and talked, and laughed, and friendships were forged. It was there, in the lounge of that refuge, that I began to see the strength of women, of mothers. The ability that women have to rise again and again from the ashes, the ability to smile for their children while inside they are screaming. The ability to get out of bed day after day when they have no bloody idea where their lives are going. It was there that I realised the incredible power of the sisterhood. Of course there were women who were so damaged that they were angry and mistrustful of everybody, but the refuge had the most incredible counsellors there, who helped those women to heal. At night, when the children were asleep and the loneliness hits, a fairy godmother, in the guise of a night warden, would knock gently on the door to see if you were ok, and let you cry on her shoulder until you had no more tears. I wasn't strong enough that time. Amid hundreds of suicide threats from him, and promises of change, and counselling, I went back. And that night he did it again. But something inside me had changed, I was no longer going to put myself, and more importantly my children, through it. I went to court, got a court order, and had him removed from the house. We have never been able to stay in one place for very long, because of the constant threat of what would happen if he found us, so we have led a somewhat nomadic existence. But that feeling from the refuge has never left me, and I will never again allow any part of that old life to penetrate the life we have built for ourselves. Where we are now is our most stable life yet. We have been here for six years – the longest we have stayed in one place. The police have turned our house into Fort Knox – alarms on every window, anti-kick bars on every door, reinforced door frames, motion sensor lighting, anti-climb paint… I still, after all this time, look over my shoulder, check the doors and windows are all locked at night, and I jump every time the phone rings. We have changed our names completely and legally, and literally become different people. My children are now 21, 19 and 12. I have two grandsons, and life is as settled as it can be. I would never have had the strength to do it if it hadn't been for the time we spent in that refuge. Being there changed our lives. It made me realise that, even when life seems impossible, if we dig deeply enough, we can find the strength to come through anything. We can survive. And we have.  |
| Are women being driven from teaching? Posted: 25 Oct 2016 01:05 PM PDT
Over half of women teachers said they feel generally or very pessimistic about their future in the teaching profession and many women teachers who have requested flexible working have had their request denied by their employer, a women’s conference organised by the teachers union NASUWT has heard. NASUWT, the National Association of Schoolmasters Union of Women Teachers, organises in all sectors from early years to further education and represents teachers in all roles including heads and deputies. Gender inequality, combined with crushing workloads and attacks on their pay and working conditions, are threatening to drive women out of the profession. Hundreds of women teachers from across the country gathered in Birmingham recently for NASUWT's annual Women Teachers' Consultation Conference to discuss the challenges they face and to attend a series of professional development workshops. A real-time electronic poll of attendees at the Conference found that: Over half (55 per cent) said they feel generally or very pessimistic about their future in the teaching profession; Two thirds said their mental and physical health is being damaged by their workload; Three quarters said they do not have a reasonable work/life balance; Pressures of the job and workload are the biggest factor that would impact on their decisions to remain in the profession in five years' time; More than a fifth (21 per cent) said their most important priority in their career right now is to leave teaching; Over half (52 per cent) said they feel angry about what has happened to their pay over the last few years and 55 per cent thought the prospects for their pay are likely to worsen; More than a third (36 per cent) said they've been treated less favourably at work in the last year because they are a woman. Remarking on this, Christine Keates, the General Secretary of NASUWT, said: "Women make up the majority of the teaching profession, yet it is clear that too many are still facing unacceptable barriers and inequality in terms of their careers and professionalism. "Women teachers have expressed their deep anger at the way in which they have been treated over recent years and about the successive attacks on their pay, working conditions and job security. "This inequality is being exacerbated by a raft of government policies which have undermined equality protections for workers and left teachers at the mercy of unacceptable practices by employers. "All of the evidence shows that the greater the managerial discretion the greater the potential for discrimination and this is borne out by the number of women reporting they have been refused pay progression because they have been on maternity leave or are working part time. "Excessive workload and attacks on teachers' working conditions are having a profoundly negative effect on women teachers' mental and physical health and wellbeing and undermining the quality of education for children and young people," she continued. "The number of women saying they feel pessimistic about their future in the profession and the number saying their priority is to leave teaching must give employers and the government pause for thought about the urgency of the need to create a teaching profession which genuinely values and supports all women teachers. "It is not overstating the point to say that the future of the teaching profession depends on it." In addition, nearly half of women teachers who have requested flexible working have had their request denied by their employer. A real-time electronic poll on this question found that: Three quarters of schools did not have a flexible working policy; Less than one in ten (8.3 per cent) women teachers feel that flexible working requests are encouraged in their schools; Of those who had made a flexible working request over 45 per cent had had their request declined; More than half (50.3 per cent) did not believe that colleagues in their school working reduced hours had been given a 'workable' timetable; Over half (52 per cent) said there was an expectation that colleagues working reduced hours would still attend the same number of parents' evening, INSET training days and staff meetings as full time colleagues; Nearly a third (30.1 per cent) felt that they or a workplace colleague had been discriminated against by having flexible workplace requests denied; While over a third (33.3 per cent) also believed that they or a workplace colleague had been discriminated against by being given unworkable timetables. "The experiences shared by women teachers today, demonstrates that discrimination against and exploitation of women teachers is rife," Christine Keates said. "Women are being denied their rights to flexible working. Spurious arguments, feeble excuses and blatant discrimination are being used to turn down requests. "Even when women are granted flexibility the unfairness and exploitation continues with many teachers still expected to undertake work related activities on days they are not supposed to be working, invariably without payment," she added. "These poor exploitative management practices flourish because government fails to secure compliance and has in fact created a climate in which equality and the rights of workers are seen as unimportant."  |
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