Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Women's Views on News

Women's Views on News

Amanda Todd: how misogyny kills

Posted: 22 Oct 2012 08:00 AM PDT

Guest post by Amanda Keats.

Canadian teenager commits suicide after online bullying campaign.

The tragic news hit recently that Canadian teenager, Amanda Todd, had been found hanged after being the victim of an online bullying campaign that spanned years.

Just weeks before her suicide, Amanda made a harrowing video in which she held up cards to tell her story. On one of these cards, the words "Everyday I think why am I still here" will no doubt resonate to anyone who has ever been the victim of a bully.

What is most alarming in this particular case is the level of sexism involved in her abuse. Amanda’s case is an extreme one. Aged only twelve, Amanda was persuaded by a man online to reveal her breasts. The man captured the image and then proceeded to torment her, sending the image to her family, friends and school.

This event in itself is horrifying but the reaction that followed is far scarier. Instead of rallying round Amanda, people took it as an excuse to pick on her, judge, ridicule and abuse her.

The man had threatened to release the picture to everyone she knew if she didn’t give him more… and, true to his word, sent the image to everyone that Christmas. Amanda moved and tried to rebuild her life – while coping with depression and anxiety – but the man reappeared, this time setting up a Facebook group with the image as the profile picture. Once the news spread, Amanda once again lost all her friends. "Nobody liked me" she says in the video.

She moved again. She was then in touch with a former male friend who she thought liked her and ended up having sex with him.

Cruelly, the boy turned out to have a girlfriend who – along with some of her friends – decided to take it upon themselves to not only tell Amanda that nobody liked her or wanted her around, but give her a beating to make sure she really got the message.

This event led to Amanda’s first suicide attempt – which was met with the reaction on social media that she should try again and not be so stupid next time as to fail.

The most tragic part of this sad story is that Amanda was made to feel that she in some way deserved the abuse – that she had brought it on herself. What was there to tell her any different? A glimpse at the celebrity culture nowadays only serves to highlight the double standard applied to men and women.

Just look at Chris Brown. Having severely beaten his then girlfriend, Rihanna, Brown was welcomed back into the music business with apparent ease. People seemed to forget what he’d done and even media coverage dealt with the break up of their relationship as if they’d merely had a lover’s spat. His abuse was all but ignored. Fans even tweeted terrifying comments that they’d happily let him beat them if they could be his girlfriend – as though Rihanna were ungrateful to simply be in his presence and therefore deserved it.

Questions were raised, however, about Rihanna’s far raunchier look after the attack and her rude song lyrics and sexy demenour.

Similarly, after a rumoured affair with her director on Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart started receiving death threats. Fans of her alleged boyfriend Robert Pattinson were outraged that she had had the audacity to cheat on him. The director, Rupert Sanders, was practically ignored – even though he was the elder of the two, the one in a position of certain power and a married man.

As someone who spent most of my adolescence being bullied, I find these stories, and their alarming frequency in the press, particularly upsetting. That Amanda shares my name is mere coincidence but it still feels like a mirror is being held up to that tormented teenager in me. Even in a caring, loving family, you can feel completely alone in the world with no way out.

Though Amanda Todd’s case is an extreme one – and police need to track down the man who pushed Amanda to suicide – her struggle is all too common an occurrence. Teenagers across the world are dealing with the same daily struggle at the hands of their bullies, whether it’s because they are too thin, too fat, too clever, too stupid, too ugly, too pretty – the list is endless.

The point is, there is no reason for bullying. Nothing justifies it. No one person is better than another and nobody deserves to be treated as such. That this still occurs – in schools and in the workplace – is disgusting. That it happens to such an extent that children feel suicide is the only way out is horrifying.

Being bullied is not a rite of passage all children need to go through. It is not necessary to make you a stronger person and should not be tolerated. Ever. Children need to be educated from a young age that it is never OK to mock, ridicule or abuse someone for not fitting into what they consider ‘normal’. Mistakes will no doubt be made as these teenagers try to figure out who they are and where they want to go in their lives. But these mistakes should not be used as a form of torment. Our differences are what make us interesting and children need to learn to celebrate them, not hide from them or try to change to fit the norm.

Amanda Keats began writing stories back in primary school, but now spends her time writing largely about books and films as well as working on her own novels. She blogs at Film vs. Book.

She believes education is the key to tolerance and understanding and that every person on the planet should be made to read To Kill a Mockingbird, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas.

 

We really are in this together

Posted: 22 Oct 2012 03:30 AM PDT

WVoN spoke to some of the many women who took part in Saturday's anti-cuts march.

Two thirds of public sector workers are women, so it was no surprise that there were lots on a march protesting government cuts, nor that many had lost their jobs.

Speaking to those on the march, it’s clear that feelings run high.

Adele from Nottingham was made redundant over a year ago after returning from maternity leave. "I want a sustainable economy with public sector investment. We are not saving money, the deficit is growing," she said.

Lydia Dalton, a social worker from Ealing, West London was redeployed in 2010.

"The disabled people I worked with were left with no service. I am marching to protect the services we have and regain those already lost.

"I don't think the 99 per cent should pay for the problems caused by the 1 per cent.

"You can see the cuts biting now and they have only implemented the first 20 per cent," she said.

"I've been made redundant from a job I was doing for 28 and a half years, helping people, making sure disabled people get a fair service. It's a disgrace to say we are British," said Jane Oliver from Southend on Sea.

"The cuts to services are particularly harming women if you look at cuts to in-work tax credits like childcare credits it really is women who are suffering," said Sonia Sager of the Battersea Labour Party.

"In terms of the impact on the economy as a whole it's mainly women who are in part time work," she said.

"I want my grandchildren to have the same as I had. A good NHS, good schools, things they can do. There is absolutely nothing they can do now. I want jobs for them.

“Mr Cameron has got to listen to his people. We've had a fantastic Olympics and we want that to carry on," said Mrs Cooper, a pensioner from Nuneaton.

Nadia Clarke, a wheelchair user from Halifax, West Yorkshire was marching against cuts to her personal care budget.

"I won't have any PA's, I won't have any care, I won't be able to come to things like this. It will cut my independence, social skills, everything," she said.

"They are on about closing our local hospital. The other one is a 20 minute drive away. That is no use for A & E," said Becca from Bolton.

"I don't know how my three children are going to pay back their university fees. I'm just glad my youngest left school last year," said Debbie Salmon, from Sutton.

"I want to support all the people who are losing their jobs. We all need to stand together and fight and make sure we do things that are going to work better in future," said Jessica who works for the GMB union.

"The cuts have affected everybody across the country and if they haven't affected them they have affected someone they know," said Carole Clarkson from Hull.

"The government really are here to punish ordinary people. They are discriminating and demonising the disabled and unemployed," said Valerie Sissons, from Chessington in Surrey.

"Those who have got jobs are frightened about losing them. [The government] is very much about divide and rule and this is about bringing people together," she said.

And there was a warning to Labour. "Miliband is not welcome here today," said Sissons.

"The Labour party needs to get its act together and remember its grass roots voters. Stop trying to pursue government cuts because they will be doing the same thing only maybe not quite as hard. Unless they remember who they are supposed to represent they are going to get beaten again.

"We want a general strike.

"The rest of the country is waking up to this as well. We won't give up without a fight there's no way we are going to roll over while the rich get richer and the poor poorer.

"To nick Cameron's phrase, we really are in this together. There is no way we are going to roll over and take all these cuts when the money is in the system," she said.

Domestic violence not caused by “bad weather”

Posted: 22 Oct 2012 01:00 AM PDT

A women's charity has dismissed police claims that bad weather may be to blame for a dramatic increase in incidents of domestic violence.

Eaves, a London-based charity that supports victims of violence against women, described the police’s suggestion as, "nothing more than an appealing get out clause for an unpopular, poorly understood issue at a time of cuts."

The comments, made by police in the Devon town of Sidmouth last week, were picked up by The Daily Telegraph and The Daily Mail after being reported in the local press.

According to the Sidmouth Herald, local police said "miserable conditions" led to a rise in domestic abuse in the year to August 2012 because "people get cabin fever locked in a house together".

Heather Harvey, Research and Development manager at Eaves, said: "It is most concerning that those we are supposed to turn to for justice and protection seem unable to distinguish possible exacerbating or triggering factors from the actual cause of violence against women."

Harvey added: "If you choose to use violence against your partner or family member to get what you want, to enforce compliance, to punish, or to assert your power and superiority then you will do so in any and all weathers."

"Domestic violence is not caused by weather conditions or by poverty, drink or depression any more than rape is caused by short skirts, drink or the quality of street lighting,"

Indeed, the suggestion is in stark contrast to the apparently "definitive" (but unreferenced) claims reported by Examiner in July 2010 that, "hot weather increases domestic violence incidents."

Neither the Daily Telegraph nor the Daily Mail included the perspective of an expert on violence against women in their coverage, although both reported Stuart Hughes, chairman of Sidmouth council, disputing the claims.

"It seemed a strange thing to blame a rise in domestic violence on the weather," Mr Hughes said. "I know the weather gets blamed for a lot of things but this is a new one on me. I would question whether that is the case."

Statistics show that 1 in 4 women in the UK experience domestic violence in their lifetime, one incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute, and two women a week are killed by a current or former partner.